Crushed at the death of DATH

I’m seriously crushed. I know. No one literally died, the pups are fine, I still have my health, and my job, but I am soooo sad to read that Dear and the Headlights is no longer a band. You probably remember them from numerous blog posts such as:  The best night of my life! (my first DATH encounter); Shhh, Amy is dreaming... don't wake her up (my personal favorite);  Concert night #1 Dear and the Headlights (my official last show); and So much that it hurts. They were not only a pivotal part and best memory of my first year in So-Cal but their music was like nothing else I've loved. The first strum of Ian's guitar back in 2007 when they opened for Dredg, I immediately knew I was in love. I've been to a good handful of live shows and wove many deep memories and emotions into their beautiful music. But just like that, its done, they're over? They don't want to tour anymore, make music together anymore or even be musicians at all (possibly). Like, they're just going to go be janitors, or work some 8-5 jig now? And without a farewell tour, or ANYTHING! I don't get it. Throw us a little bone here!

This is the first time I've dealt with a band breaking up and as you can see I can't really rationally wrap my head around it. I feel like I'm 16 and getting dumped for the first time and I have all these unanswered questions.

This is the explanation they gave.

 “As I'm sure many of you have possibly assumed at this point since there has been absolutely no update as to what we are doing, Dear & The Headlights is no longer a band. We broke up some time ago. I can't speak for everyone in the band, but we have decided to do other things with our lives. The music industry is a rough world to be in. It's hard work and very draining and it got to the point that we drifted away from why we were playing music to begin with; because we loved it. We got together as friends and created songs because it was the only thing we wanted to do. So we wrote some songs and started playing shows. The next thing we knew, hundreds of people were attending our shows. After that, record labels started showing interest, then other bigger bands wanted to take us out on tour, then we started selling shirts and cd's and stickers and buttons, bags, frisbees, towels, bookmarks (my favorite merch item we ever sold) sweaters etc. Next thing we needed a manager, a publicist, a lawyer, a better website, someone to respond to emails and messages, and someone to take care of business while we were on the road. Something that we loved so much and took very personally became something that so many other people were involved with. We started meeting and talking about how we could get more fans and how we could get people to our website and not just Myspace or Facebook. How we could put on a better live show so people would buy our t-shirts or cd's. It got ridiculous and that's what bands do! All of this is planned out! What happened to just getting together with your buddies and writing songs because it was all you wanted to do? Music is expression. Music should be an overflow of life experience; and when your life is touring, labels, t-shirts, tent signings, interviews with local papers, etc., where does the overflow from life experience come from? How do you create music about your life when your life is all about creating music? It's a vicious cycle and I personally commend the MILLIONS of bands that do it. It's hard work. We worked very hard and toured our asses off. 

With that said, it was an absolutely incredible experience and I can't express in words how much I learned about life, people, teamwork, and communication with the people I am/was close to. We have met some amazing and generous people that appreciated our music and has affected them in one way or another. We have stayed on people's couches, eaten meals with them, milkshakes, gone swimming, and all sorts of adventures. Fans that kept coming back to our shows and buying our shirts and telling their friends about us; you will forever be appreciated. Our families that supported us even though "The chances of us 'making it' were so slim." You will forever be appreciated.

Dear & The Headlights was a huge part of our lives. It was our lives. It was a crazy experience and it was worth every mile we drove (220,000 miles in three years), every show we played (over 700), every person we've met (no fucking idea), every shitty fast food restaurant we've eaten at (I'm embarrassed to say), and every terrible opening band we played with (no names will be mentioned).

So that's about it. We are done. We are on to different activities now. Beautiful new experiences that we can write about. An overflow of life experience that is worth creating art for. Families, school, triathlons, different musical projects, solo projects, new work, new friends. A new life.

And since we never had a "Thank You's" section on either of our albums, I would like to take the opportunity to do it here and now. Again, all of these words are mine with shared sentiment from the rest of the guys. Please don't take this as verbatim conversation from the group as a whole.

Super crazy wild thank you to:

Chuckie Duff. Without him, we would have never been a band. He was hands down, the driving force behind D&TH and will always be remembered and appreciated. Please support anything he has his hands in. It is all amazing. Check out his label Common Wall Media and his recording studio Flying Blanket Recordings.

Chuck and Dori Duff for supporting us and providing probably the best practice space anyone could ever ask for.

Eva Alexiou-Rio. Eva is one of the hardest working people I have ever met. We became very close and even ate Thanksgiving dinner with her and her family in Virginia one year.

Thank you (in no particular order).

Glenn Dooley, Greg Sieme, Jimmy Eat World, What Laura Says, Kinch, Miniature Tigers, Rajiv Patel, Jordan Crittenden, Alex Gerber, Jeremiah (I just realized I don't know his last name. Stateside and President Gator), Psycho Steve, Phoenix New Times, Mom, Dad, Panda, Erika, Fear Before, Lovedrug, Boys Night Out, Chase in Raleigh NC, Kristin in Austin (Pink Hair), Casey Terrazas, Andrea Burdett-Metzger, Straylight Run, Francesca Caldera (I think that's her last name. You know, from EVR), Josh and Trent for letting us play at the house, Joy Hom one of our oldest fans (not in age of course), Ben Collins, Cyndi Lynott, The Door in Dallas, Tom Tom, and everyone fan that kept coming back to see us play. You are all appreciated. Thank you so much!!! I apologize if I have forgotten anyone that feels that they deserve thanks. Gimme a break, it's been a while! ;)”

Thank you and God speed.

P.J. Waxman
Dear & the Headlights




Dear & the Headlights:

Ian Metzger- Vocals and acoustic guitar
P.J. Waxman- Lead guitar
Chuckie Duff- Dr. Bass
Mark Kulvinskas- Drums
Robert Cissell- Guitar and Keys
Joel Marquard- Guitar and Keys
Patrick Taylor- Bass
Rajiv Patel- Touring bass
Alex Gerber- Touring bass
Jordan Crittenden- Touring bass


Seriously, DATH you couldn't handle the success? I guess that's what it comes down to. Of all the bands, I thought your passion would outlast the rest. I mean, most of the band isn't even 30 yet and last I checked they weren't married with babies or anything.
Buck up and give me a farewell tour damn it!
This news also comes right after the news that Mic from Coheed and Cambria held up a Walgreens Pharmacy with a cell phone disguised as a bomb in Attleboro Massachusetts for some Oxycontin. That's a freaking great idea Mic! So he's out of the band but still, the band is hanging on by threads.

RIP DATH. You will be missed.