As I ran the OC Half Marathon I came up with my own list of suggestions to anyone who wants to run a half marathon (or 5k & 10k for that matter). After doing a few of these, I thought you might enjoy what I’ve learned.
1. Always start with your wave – They set waves for a reason. It is so everyone doesn’t stampede each other and so we don’t have to fight through the crowd. If you don’t start with your wave and jump in early, I’m going to have to weave around your fat butt later and it makes more work for everyone.
2. Walkers to the right – If you need to stop and walk please pull over to the side, preferably the right. Also, please look over your shoulder before moving. A LOT of collisions happen because of this.
3. Don’t blindly throw your water cup without first looking behind you to make sure you don’t hit someone with it – I know, it’s fun, we get to throw our cups and litter legally, however, you’re not an elite runner, you’re back here with the rest of us so please look around because you are going to splash your nasty slobbered on water all over me cause I’m gonna shoot you a mean ass glare.
4. Don’t bring your baby – What, do you need to nurse your baby or something ridiculous on a run? (I’m not even going to go there) Unless you are a single mother and have no friends or family or babysitter, leave the kid at home! I don’t need little Johnny screaming while I am trying to focus on running 13.1 miles. It’s hard enough. (I’d consider letting this rule slide for a 5k cause they are so short and known to be “Mom runs”).
5. You don’t need camel backs or belts with 6 water containers – They kindly provide us with plenty to drink while we run. Water stations are generally every 3-4 miles at least and that is enough. Trust me, you don’t want to be caring any extra weight or have anything rubbing on you for 2 hours of running, and jiggle jangling and lugging extra fluids around. Ugh! Tuck some Gu or beans in your pocket for nourishment. Us women have enough jug jiggling to worry about..ya don’t need to add any extras!
6. Wear good (expensive) gear – I chafed somewhere new almost every race until I started wearing Nike. Watch for seams that aren’t sewn flat or are too thick. Ribbing, polyester materials are evil too. Mole skin over a band aid for any friction spots on your feet. Blisters are the worst and take forever to heal.
7. Don’t wear the race shirt of the race we are running – This is exactly like the rule, ‘don’t wear the bands shirt to the concert we are all attending,” not sure if this is a So-Cal thing but it’s a total No-No. Tacky. First, we know you didn’t wash that race shirt and unwashed clothes aren’t soft enough to run in. They can be too stiff from manufacturing and cause issues. Second, be unique. Wear a race shirt from another year, or city we all know you ran this one and we’d all like something new to read/look at.
8. “But my legs hurt, and my knees! Oh my!” Nothing Ibuprofen can’t fix – We are allllll hurting! Buck up! Take 2 ibuprofen before, and 2 during. Trust me, any adult can take up to 5 in a 24 hour period, you’re not going to die. Just make sure you eat something with it. Ulcers aren’t fun either. A 65+ year old woman told me that on my first half marathon and I’ll never forget it. Drugs are your friends and so is KT tape for your joints. Use it.
9. “I’m too old to run or I’m too fat. I can’t start now” It’s never too early or too late to start – I run these races next to people who are 50-150+ pounds overweight and they are doing it! You have to start somewhere, we all started somewhere and we aren’t here to judge. I also see plenty of people 70-80 years old. They take their glucosamine chondroitin and ibuprofen too and do it. Just do it! (Nike Nerd!)
10. Pee before the race – Nothing is worse than adding precious time to your race result because you had to pee. Wait in line at the port-a-potty near the start line if you can. You usually have more time there while they start the waves and sing the National Anthem and stuff. Sometimes you can ignore it and run it off too. I’ve managed that a couple times.
11. Make a kick ass playlist – Some people like to pray (quite often I do too), some people like to talk, some people like it utterly silent. I say, try to make a total kick ass playlist to keep your mind off your body. The more distractions you have the better. Rock-n-Roll Marathons are great because they have a band every mile also reading peoples shirts is amusing but really music will drive you. I think rap is my favorite genre. Good stuff.
12. Don’t ever, EVER stop moving – Unless you are bleeding, think something is broken, or dying KEEP MOVING! “Your slowest jog is still faster than your fastest walk.” A quote from a super rad guy Tim Shaw (passed down from my momma ‘the running veteran’). If you have to walk, it’s okay (just see #2 first) but if you can hang in there just slow down your pace and lightly jog. Walking sets me back sometimes and it is soooo hard to get those legs moving at a jog/running pace. A slow jog should always be the slowest you go.
I guess 12 is all I got.
Now get off you chair and get out there!
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