It's on to the next one

Lately, I’ve been asking myself a lot of questions about my future. I worked hard to get here, to move here, to grow here, and now that I am into my 4th year, I’ve been craving a next step.
There is a lot I can’t control. For example, dating, money, or the pace that C.E. is (or isn’t) moving at. The Natural Gas Act has been pushed back onto the backburners of our government and a lot of our future rests in the hand of law makers. Of course we continue to grow and push our way to the top but it is a slow process…taking over the world and all.
I have struggled over the last few months seeing the big picture here and where I fit into it. I’ve discussed it with my boss and my boss’s boss to some extent but a lot of it is a wait and see basis. This just doesn’t work for me. Monotony is my enemy. I have to continually progress, work hard, and achieve. “It’s on to the next one,” in the words of Jay-Z.
Don’t worry yet, I’m not leaving C.E., just shifting focus a little.
It hit me like a ton of bricks, it stirred inside me, and it was a crazy sense of passion and direction. Photography.
Coming off of the photo shoot with my brother, and all of the overwhelming positive feedback I received from them, coupled with other feelings brewing inside me, it all lined up and I realized it isn’t just a hobby, it is an undeniable passion.
I spent 3 years at Merced College and took almost all of the photography classes they offered as a elective classes, but that was in a darkroom with film, and not the digital direction I am (well, actually, the whole world) is moving into. I am thankful for the education I’ve received thus far, it has taught me so much and given me a base that I think future photographers will lack. Knowing the composition, lighting, depth of field, and working with only 24-36 shots a roll made me learn on another level. It doesn’t compare to the ease of digital. At that time it was a hobby and I knew I needed a “real career” and a “real job” if I was going to make this on my own. But now I’ve done it, and it is the base I need so I can propel myself into a direction where I can really follow a passion and nurture a talent I was born with and born to do.
I don’t really know what it is going to look like and I am afraid of one thing, money, but that hasn’t stopped me yet. I am going to continue working full time and kicking ass for C.E. and knowing we are going to do this. I’ll chip away at a degree, or some sort of formal training, and when our stock is up to $200.00 a share and I’m booking shoots, I cash out, and dip out. Maybe open my own studio, I don’t know, whatever God decides. He could throw me a husband along the way and more money that'd be cool, but if not, whatevs.
I have been accepted to Golden West College and I have a formal assessment appointment with the Art Institute in Santa Ana next week.
Squeeeze! Just writing this gives me butterflies and makes me excited. A crazy answer to a prayer for direction, but I gotta do the only thing I know to do and that is follow it, blindly, with my whole heart, and know whatever happens His will will be done.

"I came to win, to fight, to conquer, to thrive. I came to win, to survive, to prosper, to rise, to flyyyyyyy" -Nicki Minaj ft Rhianna